B.1902, D.2007

I was sitting at Panera Bread on State & Congress with my close friend, Hannah, who’s in town for a conference. We quickly settled to eating our food and catching up since our adventurous trip to London…those who’ve heard the story can insert ‘pass me the sweater story’ here just for laughs. Anyway, we were laughing and continuing our conversation from late last week when my phone signaled that I had a text message and without much thought decided to check who it was. It was my mom. They like to send me text messages or as they call them 'sms' to let me know they are doing ok. And this one was no different, only the next line threw me into confusion. “Grandma passed away last night” was written in Swahili and for a moment I didn’t know how to react. There was shock, disbelief and then I started crying. And I couldn’t say anything and Hannah didn’t know what to do. She took my phone trying to read the message, but couldn’t understand most it since it was a foreign language. After a few seconds, I told her that my grandmother had passed away. After a few moments of that really sinking in, I said isn’t it funny how life can change in such a short amount of time? I mean, one minute we were laughing, the next I was in tears.

My grandmother was 105. She was very independent and since my grandfather passed away back in the early 90’s she’d insisted on living life her way. She had her own house, her garden which she tendered with such care for her food and sometimes for her children and grandchildren and great-grandchildren. She was never one to depend on other people to survive. My parents offered her their place as her new home, but she would stay with them for a week and then get bored and would complain that the house was too big and no one was there to keep her company. She was very petite, about my height, had bore at least 14 children with 4 dying early. She shared her husband with another wife, something that was pretty common in her time. I remember her body always seeming frail, and she walked slightly bent, but had a strong spirit and will. She was pretty opinionated too and would always say what she was thinking. But she also had a strong sense of self, I guess after living that long you settle very well in life.

I was named after my grandmother, which is a great honor. In my tribe, children are always named after their grandparents. Since I was the first born, I was named after my father’s mother…Naomi Wanjiru. As I spoke with my parents, I realized how much I have in common with my grandmother… I'm independent and like to do things my way and figure out my own life in my own time. I never like to depend on people mainly due to the fear of being disappointed. I can be opinionated too, but maybe not as sharply as others might express their opinions.

The call was bound to happen, but it still shocked me when it happened. A striking conversation I had with my mom today broke me to pieces. She said that my dad wasn’t doing too well with the news and he had told her, ‘it’s funny how I take care of orphans, but now I too have become an orphan.’ I just fell apart …if you’ve never met my father…this might not mean a whole lot, but for me, it spoke such volumes to hear him say something like that.

Here’s to you ‘cucu’. You’ve finally found your rest.