A Glimpse

I was having a really bad day today. The day started as normal feeling low and my life having not that much purpose. Then my brother sent me a message, and that, for most of the time, stresses me out.

The last four months have been hard for me financially. Having to support my siblings has often times taken a toll on me and I've been stretched thin. I never really tell people about this just because I don't like asking for help...especially this kind of help. When I got my brother's message today, I hit a low and like I've done so many times, breathed out this prayer that I couldn't take this anymore. I have too many things I'm trying to deal with...my brother...my moving to Seattle...my pending permanent residency...my feeling of inadequacy with life in general...reading all the tragedies going on around the world...I just couldn't take it anymore. For a minute, I wanted to crawl out of my skin and get away for a few minutes and maybe take a breathe before I crawled back into my skin and continued to make sense out this thing called life.

In the middle of this turmoil and feelings of hopelessness, a friend of mine, who will remain anonymous, was online and sent me a message. The message was short...I'll paraphrase it... "I wanted to see if I can loan you some cash because I know your trying to help your brother. Let me know and I'll give it to you. It will be my pleasure to help you." I became water. There in my office, I just started to cry uncontrollably. It took me a minute or two to compose myself and sent back a message saying how much that meant to me and how it's exactly what I was needed.

I've always heard how God works in mysterious ways...and I think I know that He does. For this to happen was a glimpse into that reality. I'm sure people can be skeptical, but for me it was more than just a coincidence. For a moment, I had a glimpse of hope that someone is watching over me. I often don't feel it, but today I didn't feel alone. I felt like someone saw how tired I was and just wanted me to know that it wasn't the end of the world.