On Turning 31

I'm 31 and 1 day old. Nothing phenomenal has happened so far, considering that I've been in my apartment all day. But like I did when I turned 30, I'm absolutely thrilled to be 31. I think it's great to grow old and see a progression in my becoming a well rounded human being.

For my birthday, my friend Kevin threw me a breakfast dinner. It was absolutely amazing. The meal consisted of homemade cinnamon rolls made by Kim, muffins, eggs omelet with cheese and red peppers, bacon, sausage and my favorite part....mimosa's. It was truly the best homemade breakfast I've ever had. Best of all I had my good friends who truly celebrated my being alive and I felt unbelievably special, considering that I've known most of the people for less than a year.

Here was the surprise for me. All of my gifts came from the men. A first for sure. My friend Kevin and his boyfriend Andy, gave a gift certificate to Anthropologie, which I can't wait to use. My friend Mike made me a bag made out of a basmati rice sack, which is so cool and uncliched. My friend Tim gave me a soccer ball and a litte bag with goodies form Burt's Bees Wax...and they came in a box that had the Kenyan flag drawn on it...which made it even more special. And then Jason, who's friends with Kevin gave me flowers. I was so blown away by how 'personal' these gifts were...I'm not much for cliched gifts, and I guess that's why I so surprised at what these guys gave me. I felt absolutely loved and so special, but more importantly that someone has paid attention to who I am.

My friend Mike asked me what it meant to turn 31 and the one word that came to mind was 'ownership'. My goal is taking ownership of my life and the choices I make from henceforth. I feel like that will be the theme of the year. It's so easy to live life and just let it happen for it's sake, but it's another thing to know that I own my life, my choices, my dreams, my hopes, my fears, my weaknesses and strengths and knowing what do with them.

All to say, I'm glad to turn 31.

Fight or Flee

So I had this whole blog entry written, or at least had been working on it for the last two days, until I heard Peace Of Mind by Mindy Smith. I could have sworn she knew exactly what I would feel at this point in my life. In a nutshell, I'm at a crossroad...I can either choose to fight for my life or let it steamroll over me and not care as to what happens. I'm still deciding what road I'll take and hopefully it will be to fight for it. But like Smith so simply put it...

I need peace of mind
and a hopeful heart
to lose this rage
and move out of the dark
I ain't looking for rainbows
or shooting stars
just some peace of mind
and a hopeful heart

I need a peace of mind
and a lullaby
cause theres an angry voice
in my head tonight
tellin' me to do things
that can't be right
I need peace of mind
and a lullaby

and a miracle
for this broken soul
a little miracle
for this broken soul

I need peace of mind
and gentle hand
as I try to change
the way I am
and God forgives me
when I can't
I need peace of mind
and a gentle hand

or a miracle
for this broken soul
a little miracle
for this broken soul

I need peace of mind
and a hopeful heart